Sunday, February 23, 2014

Solitaire

Lately my Facebook newsfeed has been inundated and clogged with the onset of "Which ____ from _____ are you?" Buzzfeed / Thought Catalogue tests. Aside from the "What is Your Inner Potato" quiz I haven't been able to get excited about any of them. I feel a sense of deep frustration.

The natural course of action was to devise my own personality analysis quiz. Something we can all relate to. And without further ado...

What does your go-to Solitaire Card Back say about you?



Seashell
You are bold to near-recklessness. You are a bad B and no one can touch you. You know when to keep it Times New Roman and when to get your Wingdings on. 

Robot
Your mom and dad decided you were playing too many war simulator games and took them away when you got a 'D' on the Of Mice and Men book report. This punishment included Minesweeper. Playing with the robot card was your way of sticking it to them. In short, you are anti-establishment. 

Hand of Aces
You are a Dad. Or a creep. 

Roses
You are ambitious and determined in your romantic pursuits. All you think about is relationships and true love and that INCLUDES the time you are playing solitaire. I think I hate you.

Clownfish or Palm Tree
Life's a beach and you're just playing in the sand.  You are a risk taker--willing to break the rules for the sake of a good time. As the life of the party, you are likely holding a margarita right now. 

Flowers/Flowers with a Filter
Gotta be honest and say it--you are boring as hell and possibly pretentious. You are no-nonsense and that's fine except you have no passion. Stop being so stiff.  If you opt for the latter then you saw the value in filters before any of the rest of us. For that I tip my cap to you and you may disregard the beginning part of this description. 

Haunted House
You are generally troubled. You have donned a dog collar as jewelry and you're not afraid to say so. You played Solitaire in the background as a cover for what you were REALLY doing on the the computer--trolling the chat room circuit. 

I hope this helped you get your daily dose of self-satisfaction / you know yourself better now. That's what these quizzes are for--right? By the way my inner potato is French Fries.