Girl Scout Cookie Madness

Last year's March Madness bracket was a disaster. There is no denying it. So this year I decided to fill out my own kind of bracket. One allowing me to really blossom:

By default the first round of the Girl Scout Cookie Madness tournament was an Elite Eight competition--and I have to say--it was fierce. All Girl Scout Cookies are winners in their own ways (except for Do-si-dos). Seriously, does anyone out there feel passionately about Do-si-dos?

Tourament Highlights

Tournament Winner: Tagalongs. Tagalongs have a long and proud history of being one of the league's premiere clubs, and to no surprise they really brought the heat in 2013. They are peanut buttery. They are delicious. They are patty-ful. They are amazing in DQ Blizzard form. What more can one ask for? Champion of all champions.

Biggest Sleeper: Savannah Smiles. The Smiles are a relatively new program with a budget notably smaller than that of the more storied squads--Thin Mints, for example. Best served with tea during a midafternoon work slump, these cookies fought the good fight all the way to the finals. The Smiles left nothing to be desired on the court.

Overrated: Samoas. I find Samoas are CONSISTENTLY overrated. Additionally, I've heard whisperings of a potentially permanent name change to 'Caramel deLites'. Really? Whatever happened to predictability? Samoas are nothing more than a strange half-crunchy cohering mass of caramel, coconut and chocolate. Team Samoa has great branding, but a true bracketologist like myself sees through the fluff.

Though the bracket doesn't show it, the Thank U Berry Much was an underdog worth keeping an eye on in the first round. Being able to compete in a league where chocolate-based cookies reign supreme is a victory in and of itself. Well done.

See you all in 2014!

Olympics: Re-Defined

I miss the Olympics--the London 2012 Games changed my life. Lolo Jones' abs inspired me to add sit-ups to my daily routine for like 2 days. I'm not the same person.

I'm really into the Olympics, but I actually find it to be a disservice to the spirit of regular people. Superior athletic ability is beautiful, awe-inspiring, fascinating, etc. etc.--but really, everyday people are just as talented. Where's MY torch?

Events that I would OWN:

- Losing my keys
- Hugging my cat
- Not recycling
- Drinking Diet Coke (I average 8-9 a day so come see me for that Gold)
- Over-identifying with the What Should We Call Me tumblr
- Cracking my iPhone despite having a case
- Hating babies

Great resume, right? It's unreal that I haven't been tapped by any sponsors yet. Don't worry, I'll hook you all up with some VIP seats at the Inaugural Ordinary People-lympics.

Oliver's Travels

What better way to end my post-less August than with a write-up about my Fantasy Football team, est. Aug. 27, 2012.

The Squad:

QB: Tony Romo (eh...)

WR: Calvin Johnson*

WR: Victor Cruz

WR: Andre Johnson

RB: Matt Forte

RB: Doug Martin

TE: Jermichael Finley

BN: RGIII (QB)

BN: BenJarvis Green-Ellis (RB)

BN: Anquan Boldin (WR)

BN: Ben Tate (RB)

BN: Jacquizz Rodgers (I mean I couldn't get Aaron so...another Rodgers pls).

BN: Kendall Wright (WR)

*denotes my pride and/or joy

The debut match-up is slated to be Oliver's Travels (a nod for my cat and literature in general) vs. Flaming Marshmellows (not a typo, apparently). Sure to be a battle for the ages that will be live-tweeted (@AllisonGilchr).

I had my counsel facilitate the smack talking for me whilst I sat beside him eating funfetti pop tarts. I may know which players I enjoy watching (Cam!), but I'll be the first girl to say Sundays filled with beer and nachos with occasional glances toward the TV a Fantasy Guru does not make. 

So what do you think--impressive? This is my first gambling experience since the great $20 Quito, Ecuador Massacre of '09, but I think I'm ready. 

Why my Bracket Sucks

Despite being a certified ESPN Bracketologist, my bracket totally sucks, and here's why:

1. I picked Missouri to win it all. l.o.l
2. I have 'Cuse to the Final Four. As a proud alum it seemed obligatory, but really I'm just waiting for them to blow it. To Wisconsin? To Vanderbilt? Revolting, yet possible. 
3. I actually tried to pay attention this year and actually know what I'm talking about. I picked all the upsets totally wrong, with the exception of VCU.

I'm not going to be the dumb girl who wins the pool due to luck, and I'm also not going to be the savvy hoops follower that wins it because of a deep knowledge base.

March Madness is a cruel season, and Baseball season (ew) is just around the corner. 

God, when is life going to be fair again?

I am, however, enjoying listening to the ESPN announcers and their meaningless commentary:
"Go to the basket with the ball if you can..." 
"What we have here is a physical player who really delivers when he's on the line."

Insightful.


Update: I predicted the Ohio upset over Michigan :)