Swagger Like Me

Moving day is almost here. That's right--I will be living without a roomie for the very first time in my whole life. Kinda nervo, but I'm ready to try it. Eh, let's be serious.. I'm mostly ready to live in a building with a pool.

Unfortunately, this is me trying to organize me clothes:

I admit (begrudgingly) that I am similar to most first-world girls in that I am constantly wailing about my lack of clothing whilst I drown in my own closet. I have an inexcusable surplus. So--I'm going to auction off some of my extra items so that I may not only pack successfully, but also so that you, the reader, can potentially have swagger like me. You're welcome.

Stripes and Labor Day Chic

Can someone explain to me why I have 22 different striped items? Shirts, Dresses, and everything in between.  Similarly, why do I have 3 Gap "Favorite" white long-sleeved tees? WHY. I know I have a hard time committing to solids and my risk-averse nature steers me away from over-the-top patterns, but there's no excuse for this. There must be something in the middle (that ISN'T stripes..)

Ugly Shirt from Girl I Don't Like from High School

I don't have a good explanation for why such a shirt continues to follow me around. That's right--I'm not taking responsibility for still having it. The shirt is following ME, not the other way around. I don't like it, I have never have liked it, and I should have taken this gift as a sign that my friendship with this person wasn't sustainable. Someone please take this off of my hands--but buyer beware. The shirt is potentially haunted. I won't post a picture because it could turn you to stone.

"Bitten" Pants

Just who did I think I was buying Sarah Jessica Parker pants anyway? These are horrible. Bitten's mantra is, "It is every girl's inalienable right to have a pulled-together, stylish, confident wardrobe with money left over to live." Okay, SJP, the term inalienable is a little dramatic and suggests that my right to your mom jeans and baby doll pseudo-preg tops is akin to my right to peaceably assemble. Carrie, it's because I love you that I'm going to tell you that I hate my Bitten pants. They're grey, lack personality, and are completely unforgiving to your short-torsoed clientele. You can do so much better. 

Weathered Jeans

Fixer-uppers! The pair in the forefront are from my BAJ, or 'Before Ankle Jeans' era. I have now come to fully understand how important it is for me to buy the "short" or "ankle" version of any jean if I wish to protect the hems from sidewalks, streets, or the corrosive, salt-coated streets of Syracuse. The pair in the background are only 2 years old, but the jeans suffered a nasty demise when I decided to race home from the bar and I ate it on the sidewalk. The hole on the upper thigh (not pictured) is unbecoming for me, but suitable for anyone who's into that easy-access type of thing.

Proceeds go toward paying my rent!