Post-Powerball To Do List

I don't know if you know this about me, but last spring I won a $100 in the Victoria's Secret Reward Card. Given this track record,  it is all but absolutely guarunteed that I will take the entirety of the record-breaking pot in the Powerball drawing  tonight. In anticipation of my soon to-be $500 million net worth--I will enter my plans into public record:

To Do:

1.) Establish a well-endowed trust for my cat because I was informed today that he cannot be listed as my primary OR secondary 401k beneficiary.

2.) Allocate a percentage of my after-tax winnings to fund my favorite think-tanks/non-profits in the DC area.

3.) Found and fund my own Latin America-oriented microfinance operation with a special focus on researching the scarf market in Quito, Ecuador to come with strategies for sustainability and eventual entry into the world of high fashion.

4.) Buy my way onto Jeopardy(!) so I can flirt shamelessly with Alex Trebek and revel in his awkward brilliance.

5.) Pay someone to become intimately familiar in my personal fashion choices and stalk LOFT so I don't have to. This person will also be responsible for being real with me when it's officially time to graduate to Ann Taylor.

6.) Lobby for Entitlement Reform, hard.

7.) Hike Mt. Kilamanjaro. I'm coming for you Killy.


Those are my immediate concerns. For everyone out there, I know it sucks to be you, but just keep this song in mind.

See you all on the other side!