Saturday, April 27, 2013

Open Letter to Amanda Bynes

Dear Amanda Bynes,

Go home to LA to be with your parents. You're scaring the people of NYC. Your career is salvageable.

You and your Nickelodeon braintrust were among the most influential pioneers during the advent of the World Wide Web via AmandaPlease.com. Has anyone ever told you with great power comes great responsibility?

Even when you left Nickelodeon you were heading toward greatness. Your performance in She's the Man? My God. You were loving up on Channing Tatum before any of the rest of us even thought to do it. And now look at you.



Driving with a suspended license? That's relatable. Clearly I've never done it but I know people who have and they seem normal. Smoking weed at a Planet Fitness on 4/20? What? Cryptic tweets about murdering your vagina? Girlfriend, THAT'S WEIRD.

I get it--I really do. You were a child celebrity and we saw what happened to MacCaulay Culkin but that is NO EXCUSE. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AMANDA.

Your train wreck stage is hitting me harder than when Britney had her episodes--and I was sure that sort of pain couldn't be paralleled. Don't let me down. And don't shave your head.

Concerned,

Allison

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