Nacho Cheese Doritos fall right in line with the NFL and the stars and stripes as icons that characterize our great nation. Watching the fireworks on 4th of July and seeing a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos at another kids' birthday party are the only two occassions from my childhood that I specifically remember moving me to tears. Actually my favorite snack was definitely Cheetos (puffy...let's be serious) but Chester Cheeto went from being relatable to being a predator very quickly. But I digress..
Doritos. Last time I checked there were 2 flavors: Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch. Today at the grocery store I realized that I was so, so wrong.
Doritos. Last time I checked there were 2 flavors: Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch. Today at the grocery store I realized that I was so, so wrong.
According to the very reliable "Now That's Nifty" blog, there are, or have been, 102 different flavors of Doritos at least. For all we know there are 5-6 undocumented species of Doritos hidden deep within some North Korean province.
Why must there be so many flavors? How is anyone supposed to keep up? I just don't see how they could be dramatically different. What exactly distinguishes the "Original Taco" flavoring from the "Rock Taco" and "Tacos at Midnight" flavorings? Am I missing something?
What happened to my beloved, recognizable red and blue bags? After reviewing the 102 types my conclusion is this: the Mexicans and the Asians have completely overtaken innovative flavor operations for Doritos. It's so, so clear. Just LOOK at that list: Seaweed, Sesame Chicken, Quiejo Nacho, Queso Grande, Mr. Dragon's Fire Chips. Those are NOT the product of OUR creative minds. First our manufacturing jobs and now this? We are truly a devolving society.
For the first time I truly feel as though I'm aging. This is how my grandpa must have felt when he got a computer in his house. I imagine he felt like he couldn't keep up with the world, and now I feel the same way. I need to lay down.
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